When it comes to sin if I haven’t done it I’ve probably at least had a passing thought about it and I suppose that if God would give me an unvarnished and undeceived view of myself I would discover things I would definitely rather not know or share.
Yet that doesn’t mean I’m hopeless.
I’m on a journey, you see, a journey of transformation where, by God’s grace, I hope to be changed, even if it’s at a very slow place, into something that looks more and more like Jesus who is purity, truth, love, freedom, and joy itself. And as I travel I’ve seen glimpses, short ones for sure, but real nonetheless, of what that destination is like. They are beautiful, peaceful, integrated, whole, and full of indescribable light. In a weary world their brevity still brings great peace to me, fresh water from a pure stream, a cloudless summer day, and the sense that time itself is temporary.
So I’m not pure. Yet I’ve seen what that purity looks like. It looks like Jesus, and I’ve decided that even though I know I’ll fall sometimes, and even though my life and my most profound ideals won’t always match, it would still be better trying to gain those lofty heights than to settle into the comfortable numbness of an ordinary life, a life spent achieving everything less than what the God who loves me would like to share.
It’s just that I’ve seen life as it could be, and even if I trip and fall I’m not able to go back.