to receive the Eucharist and neither am I. In fact, I’m not worthy to pray the prayers of consecration over the bread and wine and certainly not worthy to stand in front of the altar in the first place.
That’s just a plain fact because I’m a sinner and so are you and so are we all. We know it, and God knows it better than even we do.
So if you’re waiting for some perfect moment to receive the Eucharist forget it because it will never happen. You’ll never be good enough and neither will I. There is, however, freedom in that. It’s not the freedom to live any kind of life we want but rather the freedom of knowing that the one requirement is that we are penitent, that we are in a place where we recognize our sins and struggles and come to God seeking grace, which in the Orthodox Christian context is found in many places and in a remarkably deep and profound way in the Eucharist.
The Eucharist is medicine for sinners and strugglers, the humble who acknowledge their need of God and seek wholeness that can only be found in Christ. For the proud and the self-righteous it is a chalice of destruction (although that destruction is still in the hope of enlightenment and change of heart) but for the broken and humble of heart who come seeking healing it grants life.
I am a Priest. I am a sinner. If God has not consumed me but has been gracious beyond my deserving could He not also grant grace, healing, and forgiveness, to you, even with all your struggles, in the Eucharist? Crawl on your knees if you have to but come to the chalice of life with a penitent heart and God will grant you life, forgiveness, and mercy. Leave your earthly cares behind and come taste, even though we are sinners, the presence of heaven.