Saw a picture of my old band up on the stage at the Fine Line in Minneapolis. I guess the wistfulness is still there, yet at the same time new challenges are calling out to me and I see a brightness in the future.
I’m being, I believe, called back to my pastoral ministry, to serving the people of God and there is great joy and peace in that. For several years after leaving St. Elias I’ve helped parishes here and there but music and work and other things have consumed much of my time. Now it feels like a good time to work my way back, to take on a more active role, to be what hands were laid on me to be.
You see I’ve been like Jonah in some ways. Called one way and heading out the other. Yet no matter how far I’ve traveled I still feel the tug. I love the church. I love the liturgy. When I serve God’s people in the Church I feel like I’m being significant in the way God wants me to be. Don’t get me wrong. I love music. I love writing. I just want to be where Jesus is more than being on stage or having people read my stuff. I think the call from the band that cut me loose was also God’s call to carry me back. Jonah got spit out of the whale and I got spit, as it were, out of the Redemption Alley Band.
Now its about a readjustment, to embrace again my calling, my training, the reason I went to seminary and set out in that great big world in the first place. I know its the right thing. I know there’s a future in it. I know its where peace and joy reside. It’s been a good trip and I’m glad I took the journey. I’m glad i was with my traveling companions. The plane flight back from a trip is, though, also a good ride.
I’m a Priest. It is my joy, love, and passion. God help me to be what you want me to be.
When I read your post “We love you, but…” I prayed God would quickly lead you to the Next Best Thing. Nothing is worse than a musician without a gig.
This sounds good, Padre. I’ve often thought, if I lived closer, I’d like to come by and hash out some of my more difficult spiritual issues with you…over coffee, perhaps, and with music woven into the discussion. “Spiritual Father” sounds so, well, formal. “Spiritual Bassist Friend” is so much easier for this poor, weak convertsky to wrap her head around. ;D A bit unOrthodox, perhaps, but, then, aren’t we all, really?
Prayers as you prepare your next set…
Laura.
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Right now it seems the “next best thing” is what it has always been, to be in the presence of the Lord.
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