Category: Orthodoxy

The hardest thing…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

I think will be trust. After everything in the American Orthodox Church settles down trust will be the last to recover.

Many, perhaps, think the whole thing is about power, and it is in some way. Yet as the issues of who is in charge of what begin to settle the sheep will still be scattered because an enemy has struck the shepherds. After all, who can you talk to now? In the shifting alliances is there any safe place where your challenges won’t be ammunition for someone’s next move, your confessions a source of power to those who hear them, or your thoughts of the moment the fodder for www speculation even before they are completely developed? The titles may one day be all sorted out but the relationships may never be. Everyone will feel like they have to play the game and and no one will know for sure when its over.

If you’re a cleric that world is the new normal for the forseeable future. The damage is already done. Serving God in the Church is going to be a tense business, one eye on those you are called to serve, the other keeping track of the shadows as you try to guess the next move. Honesty, struggle, contemplation, its all gone for now, and so, for that matter will be creativity, risk taking, and the kinds of envisioning that look towards the future. Keep your head low. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Keep the money coming in and the people from complaining. Above all, watch your back. It’s not the gates of hell but it can sure feel like it sometimes.

Still I have no plans to give up. Orthodoxy is too precious to be deserted for the sake of a single era and certainly not for some uncomfortable years. I wish it was better. I wish it was, well, “orthodox”, but for now the better that drew me to the Faith will have to wait a while until reality starts catching up. This, too, is the faith of the Church.

For now no one is quite sure how to walk through this. No one is sure who to trust. We’re going to be hobbled for a while, wasting precious time while things that should not have been broken are fixed. Its our penance and if we are truly humble we should try our best to not leave it to be borne by our children.

I've been pondering…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

for some time on the troubles that seem to be working themselves through the various Orthodox jurisdictions. It’s been a sometimes frustrating and sometimes hopeful sort of task.

Frustrating, of course, because it seems so meaningless. Our culture is in a deep moral crisis and millions wander through life without some kind of healthy guidance to make it through the day. So what is our agenda? Arguments over who gets the best places at the table, whose title is what, and who, in a certain way, gets to lord it all over the subordinates like the Gentiles.

Would to God that we were vying for who can have the deepest prayer life, or who can do the most to plant churches to strengthen the faithful and help the drifting. Imagine a contest among us as to who will love the most, or with whom the poor will find the greatest shelter!

Yet that is not to be for the moment. For now we have to pound our heads against the stubborn wall of pride until, it seems, we realize that the pain will go away only if we stop. For now the game must be played until the players, exhausted and battered, come to realize that its only a game, nothing more, that we’ve expended so much precious time and energy playing.

Gone is the triumphalism of Orthodoxy. Sex scandals are not only a Roman Catholic problem. We have them too. All the televangelists that we pointed fingers at with the big houses and unaccounted for money, well we have that in our way as well. The idolization of position and title has been dealt a fatal blow as well all stand exposed in our humanity like kids caught at the door of the store with a unpaid candy bar in their pocket.

Yet perhaps its at this place that we need to be. Perplexed, frustrated, humbled, unsure of ourselves, and even afraid. The closets have been opened and everything we’ve tried to hide under the bed is slowly leaking out. We look like the stars without makeup in the tabloid magazines. We are being weighed in the balances and found wanting.

Yet there is a voice that we can hear if they care to listen. Perhaps it is the voice of the God who loves us deeply whispering in our ears. “Your pedigrees, your temples, your titles, your connections, the great and holy gifts, all of these are good but none of them is anything without humility, grace, love, piety, and all the precious gifts that come with the Holy Spirit. Seek those first, seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will find its proper place.”

Some day, tired of hearing our own voices, we’ll be able to listen and perhaps that day is why we are here now.

It's that I don't like…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

what they do to me, the gossip blog sites in Orthodoxy, that has made me reconsider the time I have spent reading and occasionally writing in them. They seem, especially lately, to be mostly about anger and finding a way to one up each other. It’s like a kid’s game except for the fact that real people’s lives and reputations are being handled like yesterday’s trash.

I know there are problems , the Church is full of human beings. It was that way and will continue to be that way. I just am weary of people thinking that shouting at each other and name calling is going to help us through, it won’t. The longer I read sites like ocanews.org and ocatruth.com and a host of others with some dog in this fight the more weary I become. How can any one person continue to fuel such things and not have their soul begin to feel like a rock in their guts?

I don’t know. But I’m done. Let them shout at each other all they want. I’ve got better things to do like praying for our Bishops, doing the best I can to serve people, and not trying to burn my precious life energy on trying to control anyone but me. God knows what we need and God will provide.

It's a smaller building…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

improbably tucked between a gas station and a pizza place, no sign out front and the shades drawn to protect the interior from the sun. You could drive by it a hundred times and not know it was a church, but it is. It’s a mission in Anoka, MN, a place for Orthodox Christians to gather in what had once been a remote farm town now completely engulfed as a suburb by the Twin Cities.

I was the guest that day, called to serve because the interim pastor needed to fill in at another church and I was available. The drive north was short and familiar. The highways were clear because it was Sunday morning and I had driven in this area many times over the decades I’ve been in St. Paul. Arden Hills, Shoreview, Mounds View, Coon Rapids, and Blaine all passed by my window as, early, I was the first in the parking lot.

Soon cars began to arrive and I was let in. Such an interesting and beautiful place. What had once been a 7-11 store was now a church complete with an apse carefully constructed where the dairy products or pop might have been. It all looked hand made but in the best possible sense of the word. The iconostasis was open and wonderfully unlike a fortress wall. A kitchen had been built inside and even small rooms on either side of the sanctuary that had everything needed for worship. Icons were posted on all of the walls and the altar stood in holy simplicity, an older tabernacle and a Gospel book without an elaborate metal cover.

As people came in there was noise and talking. The choir was gathering, a small Sunday school class sat at the floor in the back, and the kairon, proskemedia, and censing proceeded apace. When all you have is one larger room everything that must happen does so in one place, a reverent noise born of necessity that dissolved into the prepatory readings.

As the service began it became clear that this was a place of worship. Some stood, some sat, and the choir was small but very proficient at its work. There was a Deacon with me, an older and extraordinarily helpful man making sure that I could make the transition into serving in the Slavic style. Altar boys peered out from the side rooms. Folks lined up, so many of the group, to partake of the life giving mysteries. And even here it seemed that God had honored us with His presence.

As I drove home later after something about this place occurred to me. There are grand cathedrals out there, structures of imposing size where equally imposing people seek to guide and direct larger affairs. There are boards and commissions, committees and organizations, a confusing array some times and fertile places for pride and the business of the world to intrude on the holy. When these places and the people who preside at them are troubled that trouble seems to fill the air, the spiritual breathing space of the Church, and even their pathology is assumed important.

Yet the promise is given that the gates of hell will not prevail against the Church and now I understand in part why this is so. It is not because the great have gathered to wrestle, ponder, and decide, rather it is because the small have gathered in an old 7-11  in Anoka, Minnesota.

Wisdom and Joy…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

If any man be devout and love God, let him enjoy this fair and radiant triumphal feast. If any man be a wise servant, let him rejoicing enter into the joy of his Lord. If any have labored long in fasting, let him now receive his recompense. If any have wrought from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward. If any have come at the third hour, let him with thankfulness keep the feast. If any have arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; because he shall in nowise be deprived therefor. If any have delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near, fearing nothing. If any have tarried even until the eleventh hour, let him, also, be not alarmed at his tardiness; for the Lord, who is jealous of his honor, will accept the last even as the first; he gives rest unto him who comes at the eleventh hour, even as unto him who has wrought from the first hour.

And he shows mercy upon the last, and cares for the first; and to the one he gives, and upon the other he bestows gifts. And he both accepts the deeds, and welcomes the intention, and honors the acts and praises the offering. Wherefore, enter you all into the joy of your Lord; and receive your reward, both the first, and likewise the second. You rich and poor together, hold high festival. You sober and you heedless, honor the day. Rejoice today, both you who have fasted and you who have disregarded the fast. The table is full-laden; feast ye all sumptuously. The calf is fatted; let no one go hungry away.

Enjoy ye all the feast of faith: Receive ye all the riches of loving-kindness. let no one bewail his poverty, for the universal kingdom has been revealed. Let no one weep for his iniquities, for pardon has shown forth from the grave. Let no one fear death, for the Savior’s death has set us free. He that was held prisoner of it has annihilated it. By descending into Hell, He made Hell captive. He embittered it when it tasted of His flesh. And Isaiah, foretelling this, did cry: Hell, said he, was embittered, when it encountered Thee in the lower regions. It was embittered, for it was abolished. It was embittered, for it was mocked. It was embittered, for it was slain. It was embittered, for it was overthrown. It was embittered, for it was fettered in chains. It took a body, and met God face to face. It took earth, and encountered Heaven. It took that which was seen, and fell upon the unseen.

O Death, where is your sting? O Hell, where is your victory? Christ is risen, and you are overthrown. Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen. Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice. Christ is risen, and life reigns. Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in the grave. For Christ, being risen from the dead, is become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. To Him be glory and dominion unto ages of ages. Amen.

St. Innocent of Alaska…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been reading Paul D. Garrett’s “St. Innocent, Apostle to America” from St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press and as I’ve passed the half way mark one of the things that has impressed me the most has been the Saint’s workload as he served the people of Unalaska and Alaska as Priest. Dozens of Chrismations a day, same for baptisms and weddings. Long journeys by kayak over the open ocean to remote settlements. Translation work when there was free time plus the care of his family. As I read along it seems that consecrating him Bishop in Sitka actually lessened his work load in some ways if one can ponder that idea.Compared to this my five years of weekend trips to LaCrosse in a heated and air conditioned car seems like a kind of sloth.

Another thing I’ve been coming to understand in a greater way is that the stories of Saints can be true. There is a kind of scepticism, even in the Church, even in me,  about the stories of Saints, especially from the remote past. Yes, the legendary can be mixed in with the factual but one of the great gifts of more recent Saints is that there are written records, often photographs, which verify the accounts of holy people in a way that meets the criteria of our understanding. God has no obligation to do this, of course, but its a kind of mercy to our weakness and lack of faith to see what we would consider to be “real” evidence of holiness even though the blessing belongs to those who have not seen and still believe.

Over the years something has changed with me. In seminary we read and examined the works of scholars but as I get older I prefer to read the stories of Saints. It’s not that there is no place for scholarship but rather the realization that my graduate work fitted me academically, perhaps, for ministry but did little to shape me as a person (besides making me tired). There are the credentials of a pastor and the character of a pastor and it seems to me that both have to be in place. What would having all the degrees matter if I am not, at least, somewhat like Christ? The devil is capable of exegeting Scripture and quoting the sources at a level well beyond mine. The stories of Saints, however,  help me discover not just what to believe and defend but how to be.

That being said I have a tremendously long way to go, a far journey ahead to be anything like Saint Innocent let alone Christ. Part of me is discouraged when I read his story. I feel like someone plunking out a few tunes on the piano while watching a concert master. Yet part of me is hopeful as well. Growth, sanctity, and grace are possible and we have the photos, papers, records, and eyewitnesses to prove it.

A prayer…

~ Fr. John Chagnon ~ Leave a comment

A Prayer by Saint Simeon Metaphrastes
Freely Thou hast given me Thy Body for my food, O Thou Who art a fire consuming the unworthy. Consume me not, O my Creator, but instead enter into my members, my veins, my heart. Consume the thorns of my transgressions. Cleanse my soul and sanctify my reasonings. Make firm my knees and body. Illumine my five senses. Nail me to the fear of Thee. Always protect, guard, and keep me from soul-destroying words and deeds. Cleanse me, purify me, and adorn me. Give me understanding and illumination. Show me to be a temple of Thy One Spirit and not the home of many sins. May every evil thing, every carnal passion flee from me as from a fire as I become Thy tabernacle through communion. I offer Thee as intercessors all the saints: the leaders of the bodiless hosts, Thy Forerunner, the wise apostles, and Thy pure and blameless Mother. Accept their prayers in Thy love, O my Christ, and make me, Thy servant, a child of light. For Thou art the only Sanctification and Light of our souls, O Good One, and to Thee, our Master and God, we ascribe glory day by day.