Discover Jesus…

by actually reading the stories of his life, the Gospels, and the writings of his immediate followers, the Epistles. That sounds like it would be obvious but I’m amazed, often, at how many people who claim to know something about Jesus have, at best, a foggy idea of who he is because they’ve not actually read much, if any, of the source material.

There are others, of course, who have read the source material and because it doesn’t suit their personal desires choose to distort it but that’s for another post. My invitation is simple, just read the stuff. Open that Bible you may have somewhere in your house, start with the Gospel of Matthew, and read it, simply, like you would read any other book.

You might be surprised at how different the Jesus presented in that book is from the popular cultural impressions. You will find that far from being some kind of perpetually nice guy who just wants you to have everything you want,  a popular American image of Christ, the Jesus of the Gospels has opinions, judgments even, is robust, challenging, virile, and sometimes mind-blowing. Agree or disagree with Jesus teachings, you’ll still at least understand that if they were to be followed life, yours or the world’s, would not, could not, ever be the same again.

In our days there are a lot of people who want some of Jesus’ personal impact to bolster themselves. They understand, in some sort of way, that Jesus is important and so if they can get Jesus to agree with them than their own arguments, lifestyles, and ambitions will have a sort of “Jesus Stamp of Approval”. Largely these people have their own image of what Jesus is, an image that’s often formed by ignoring the actual stories, words, and actions of Jesus, or borrowing just the snippets of information that confirm their biases.

So my challenge remains. Read the book, the stories of Jesus. Read the whole thing and listen, perhaps for the very first time, to what is really being said. In the end if you think it’s all rubbish at least you can say you tried to understand. If, as you read, you begin to sense some wisdom, something deeper and higher in everything then pursue it because it will take a lifetime and more to come to terms with it.

But don’t claim to know anything about Jesus, even if you’ve spent a lifetime in church, until you’ve read the book.

 

 

Being Orthodox…

When times are challenging I’m reminded of how good it is to be an Orthodox Christian. Now that’s not a put down of anyone else so much as a simple remembrance of the great gifts that Orthodoxy shares with unworthies like myself.

Connected directly to Christ through the Apostles? Check. Over 2000 years of lived experience and wisdom in the Faith? Check. Saints and friends to guide, and pray for, me as I live this life? Check. Rock solid commitment to everything that truly matters in the Faith? Check. True love and mercy from the Source of such things? Check.

Certainly I know that I’m a sinner and need to always keep close to God. I know, as well, that I’m in a community of people like me so everything isn’t hunky dory all the time. Still, however the world goes  I’ve been given much, all of it underserved but still gratefully received. If the world does temporarily go to hell in a handbasket (and my Faith teaches me that all such times are only temporary)  I’m glad I have something deep, rooted, and strong, even in weakness, to help see me through.

Sometimes that can make all the difference.

Christianity is Difficult…

because it really does require a life long commitment of every aspect of life in the quest to become like Christ. To truly understand Christian Faith you have to understand that the word “Christian” has no hyphen before or asterisk after to modify it. The old American Protestant hymn is quite correct “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back…”

Christianity is also beautiful beyond words because as its transformative powers are allowed to work, even if that transformation is difficult in any given moment, the person on the path begins to become what they were meant to be and discovers a kind of existence that, while fully engaged in the world, also transcends it, a world to come that lives in the present.

There is a great peace…

just in spending time in a church. I feel it when I step in, a sense of sanctuary from the craziness of the world, a physical reminder there are higher and more enduring realities in the world.

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At times it makes no difference what is actually going on, what Liturgy is being served, or how I am part of things. Just to be there, to have my eyes completely captured only by holy things, a whole world around me where nothing profane can find root. This is a deep kind of joy.

Now there is precious little refuge to be found. The whole world is about signs and commerce and work and the endless pursuit of the next “thing”. Some who are called flee to the deserts and forests to find a place of rest but I am called to be in this world and so I need a place in the world, a place that calls me to what is higher, better, and more enduring.

It does not need to be a fancy, covered with gold and finery. Wherever people of true Faith come in humility to encounter God is already covered in the best of decoration. I have been to beautiful churches and I have been to humble ones and I can say that God is no respecter of persons as much as He is a respecter of hearts. The holiness of hearts is what makes a church a temple and such hearts transform a building into a refuge from a confusing and aggressive world.

If nothing else is to be gained the Faithful should be in their temple as often as possible simply because it is “other” than any place in the world and may be the one place, the only place in the world, where holiness and the deep peace it brings is welcome. To rest in such a place refreshes the soul and brings healing to lives numbed by the restlessness of this world.

 

 

I Have a Gay Cousin…

and I discovered that he recently married his long time partner, so all the stuff in the news these days has come a little closer to home.

My mother has met my cousin’s partner and apparently he’s a pretty nice guy. He’s an academic, a musician, and they have a nice home where they’ve lived together for years. There’s a beautiful garden in the yard and a certain kind of domestic stability that pervades the place. Had the judge not overturned their state’s laws on marriage and given them the opportunity to wed they would still be together as they have been for years. This is their house, their place, and their life.

It’s been decades since I’ve seen my cousin and years since we’ve talked, briefly, on the phone. The last surviving member of his immediate family, I only have a picture in my head of what he looks like and mostly I remember his paintings on the walls of their cabin on the lake. The son of my dad’s older sister I can’t say we’ve ever been close. In fact I don’t recall being close to any of the family on my dad’s side of the equation. So, in some ways. there is a distance between me and the news that he had married his partner.

I know what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to ostracize. I’m not going to despise. I’m not going to yell, badger, or harass. There will be no phone calls with Bible in hand and, if by chance, we meet some time we’ll talk of old times, look at some of his paintings, and catch up on all the years gone by.

Of course its hard for me in a way, but not the way most people may think. I was part of a team that spearheaded the introduction of HIV care to a health care facility. I’ve been a health care chaplain. I’ve watched good men, witty, bright, artistic, interesting, full of life, who happened to be gay, get sick and die. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t good. It bore very little resemblance to the movie “Philadelphia”. Above all it was just sad.

The truth is that the image of a young man I cared for in tears, full of the realization that the man he looked to for love and happiness gave him an incurable illness, is stuck in my head and probably will be for the rest of my life. I see the statistics. I keep up on the health news. To be a sexual person in these United States is like running a gauntlet and for folks who identify as gay the risks are even higher. That’s not hate, just medical fact and there’s absolutely no joy or sense of “I told you so” in any of it. As a Christian I’ve given my life to helping make other people’s lives better and my heart aches in the face of human suffering. I’m glad my cousin has a steady place to be and people who care for him, as I understand it that’s not always been the case, but I also don’t want him to be another name on some quilt.

So, yes I worry a bit and pray, a lot. I cannot change anyone else. It’s enough that I struggle to change myself. I don’t have to agree with the choices other people make or the life they live as a condition for caring for them or having them as family or friends, so my door will always be open for anyone come what may. If there really is some kind of culture war to be fought I will fight it in my prayer corner and with loving service to others in confidence that God will shine His light where it is most needed.

Yes, my cousin is gay and married. But God isn’t finished with him, or me, yet.

 

 

 

 

Which is Worse…

the fact that people in darkness are acting out of that darkness or that the people who claim to have Light have been apathetic in the face of the darkness around them? Perhaps the greater judgment will be, not on the people around us who are acting out of a darkness that has made them blind, but rather on those of us who claim to see clearly and have done next to nothing to help those who cannot see.

The Guitar Playing Priest…

Apparently that’s how I was described a few days ago and there’s some truth to it. I do make music out on the town a few times a month and its also part of my work with seniors in Assisted Living. On the whole it was something that has always seemed “natural” for me and in my life music has been one of the constants. Yet, the truth is I rarely play the guitar and my “bread and butter” instruments are the bass and the ukulele.

Although I’ve made a little money at it, music is basically a serious hobby for me. When you serve others there’s a need to have things to fill you up for whatever you give away. I do enjoy being with people, and I’ve spent most of my life caring for them, but there are times when an hour or two with music can be remarkably refreshing. Sometimes people can’t imagine the clergy in their lives having, well, a life outside of the church. We do. I like, among other things, westerns on TV, reading history, traveling, and music. As I write this I’m on the couch and wearing a baseball jersey from a local minor league team and athletic pants. I never have slept in my vestments and my house doesn’t smell like incense.

And my life, like many people’s, is quite varied. I’m neither a full-time Priest or a full-time musician. When I’m not helping out as I can at St. George Church here in Minnesota I travel to other parishes around the area filling in when their Priests are ill, on vacation, or need to be away. I’ve served in probably 20 different parishes in a five state area and I’ve had the privilege of serving overseas as well. Two other out-of-state parishes are in my plans for the coming months. In fact, the original name of this blog was actually “The Traveling Priest Chronicles” and if the reader cares to read back far enough they can hear the tales of the various places I’ve been along the way. When I’m not doing that, I work with Seniors in Assisted Living to pay the bills with another kind of ministry, and once in a while someone gives me some money for my music. Sometimes when there are gaps in this blog it’s because I’m out and about somewhere doing something and time just slips away.

I actually don’t mind the travel. It’s good to see new things and be with new people. I hope some day to be able to serve a parish as a Priest in Residence but things haven’t worked out that way quite yet and so I do what I can and try to help people where the opportunity rises. Until a more settled time presents itself I consider myself a kind of missionary, a Priest out and about, mixing and mingling with people in a variety of places and hoping to share some grace wherever I go. That I happen to be a sometimes gigging musician is just a plus because it gets me in to places where my collar may not.

Overall, that may be the point. Whatever our situations we can be the presence of Christ where we are, being who God wants us to be wherever our talents or travels take us. Wherever I am is where my ministry is, and that truth applies to every Christian. Precious time is sometimes wasted by people seeking out some kind of “call” when, in fact, the very place they live, work, make music, or do whatever they do is, in fact, their call, their mission, and, as it were, their parish.

One day, perhaps, I’ll get that letter from the Bishop and there will be a single place for me. Until then wherever I am is where God has something for me to do and I plan on doing it until I’m told otherwise.

 

 

Indeed…

From the spiritual diary of St. John of Kronstadt, “My Life in Christ”

 

What do I need? There is nothing on earth that I need, except that which is most essential. What do I need, what is most essential? I need the Lord, I need His grace, His kingdom within me. On earth, which is the place of my wanderings, my temporary being, there is nothing that is truly mine, everything belongs to God and is temporal, everything serves my needs temporarily. What do I need? I need true and active Christian love; I need a loving heart which takes compassion on its neighbors; I need joy over their prosperity and well-being, and sorrow over their sorrows and illnesses, their sins, failings, disorders, woes, poverty; I need warm and sincere compassion for all the circumstances of their lives, joy for those who are joyous and tears for those who are in tears. Enough of selfishness, egoism, living only for oneself and acquiring everything only for oneself: riches, pleasures, the glory of this world; enough of spiritual dying instead of living, grieving instead of rejoicing, and carrying within oneself the poison of selfishness, for selfishness is a poison that is continuously poured into our hearts by Satan. O, let me cry out with King David: Whom have I in heaven but Thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides Thee. My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart. Grant me, O Lord, true life, dispel the darkness of my passions, disperse their power with Thy strength, for with Thee all things are possible