and I found a person from my past on Facebook, a person who I had hurt and I thought again to make amends. Its been a few days now and I was hoping to hear something back because some of the things I did to the person were really nasty and I hoped my apology would make some kind of difference even years later.
Its been silence so far and I understand. People move on. This was decades ago. Maybe this person wants to avoid the whole thing. I get it. I’ll just keep remembering this person in my prayers and hope they’ve moved on. But this is the last time for me as well.
I can’t change what happened back then and I can’t change the person it happened to. I was young, dumb, self-centered and sinful but several times over the years I tried to find a way and nothing came of it. Again I understand. People make their choices and I choose to stop apologizing.
I’ve done my part. I’ve tried to say what needed to be said. I wish I could live it all over again so it would be different but if there is no response I choose to move on as well having done all I could do.
There’s a relationship in forgiveness. Apologies need to be offered, and I certainly I needed to do this in this case. Yet there has to be a response as well and if none is given then the offender has done their part and can do no more. I simply can’t be held captive by this anymore. I’ve opened my door and it will stay open but I’m also moving on.
Yet I still understand. Some hurts can’t be settled with words and the silence is probably to be expected. God bless this person, give them all good things, grant them mercies greater than the hurts I’ve caused.
But now its time to move on down the road.
2 thoughts on “It's Lent…”
you say a good talk, but your heart speaks differently. your desire to restore is real, needed by you for your own healing, for you have failed to forgive yourself. My friend, Jesus loves you this I know, sounds simple so true – is there another way to love your neighbour instead of just saying sorry? Is there a gift, a tangible expression of your heart, a payment possibly that could be the door to open dialogue of trust? More questions than answers – I bring your heart to Jesus today with you – and at the end of the day, without meddling, but with a prayer of hope and blessing
Hi Fr. John. I hear you. The hardest part of apologizing for our wrongs done unto others is forgiving ourselves for having committed them. Even if they (or God through Reconciliation) forgive us, we still have to forgive ourselves. It’s hard. I live with regret for sins I’ve had absolved in Reconciliation several times, and I still carry the pain. God forgives, but we have to also.
Nick and I miss you and Jane so much. 😦 You two were such a blessing in our lives, whether or not you know it. 🙂 Love to you both! Deb