God’s unfathomable love for such a beligerent species such as we are.
How can God, knowing full well what we have done, to His creation, to each other, to ourselves, and knowing not just what is seen but even the darkest recesses of what is inside of us, love?
Who would, who could, blame God from erasing existence as we know and starting again in the hopes of something, anything, better? Who could judge God for saying “This experiment has failed it is now time for another?”
Yet God has mercy, even on those who hate Him to His face, those who would destroy, those who would deliberately promote evil on the Earth, and me when I am at my worst.
Unimaginable, yet real. Beyond understanding, yet available to any truly seeking heart.
I wish things were different. I wish the world I live in was different, less noisy, less angry, less obsessed. For now, though, this doesn’t seem to be its path.
Anger won’t help either. What would my anger do to help things become less angry?
There are times, as well, when I simply want to be left alone. And as much as a safe hiding place would be nice eventually I would be forced to come out of my bunker if, for no other reason, to get coffee. People aren’t my problem anyway.
I think the only thing to survive these days is to fill yourself with light. Go to church. Read the Scriptures. Bathe, frequently, in any holy waters you can find. Pray and absorb every small bit of God and goodness to fill the empty places and then live as much like heaven as possible.
Do that and the worst that can happen is joy and the best is that you join the Saints.
I’ve come to even more appreciation for this Orthodox way.
It’s not because there aren’t struggles and personalities and challenges. There are, and there are moments when I cringe. Still there’s something deeper.
I see the fluidity of history. Times change. The world changes and often not for the better. In the turbulence I seek a place of calm, a place that at it’s core is unperturbed by the times whatever they may be. A place where I can come out of the world so when I return I return knowing there is more and better and a destination other than being a child of my own time and place.
Time is a current necessity but timelessness is where the necessity can be survived. Along the Orthodox way there are moments of timelessness and if I cannot be in them at least I know that they, and some semblance of hope, are there.
I suppose that may sound esoteric but I know there are more years behind than ahead. That’s just the way of things. And in those years behind I’ve seen and experienced enough to realize that holy, timeless, moments, those glimpses of heaven breaking through into time, are among the greatest of gifts.
What is money? It’s what people think it is and you never get to keep it. What is notoriety? Everyone forgets in the end. It’s just a matter of time. Even health, preserved by long struggle, will eventually give way. Any moment spent in eternity, in the presence of God, in God’s world, is worth more than all of these. This beautiful path, this Faith, can be a narrow and difficult way but it’s destination is worth the struggle and the moments when that destination meets me while still on the path keep my feet light and my face towards the sun.
It has been a cold week here in Minnesota. Air temperatures dropping to the 30’s below farenheit and the wind chills falling even further.
We’re actually kind of used to it here. Not that it happens often but rather because enduring rough weather is part of the “soul” of Minnesota. No one moves here for the weather, too cold in winter, too hot and humid in summer, but we all figure out a way to make do. This last week was no different. Cars started, at least most did. People who needed to be at work found a way and those that could stay put at home, did. And everyone put on layers and continued on with life as people in more southern climes stared in wonder, or horror, or both.
Living here, though, has made me a lover of spring. If winter must be endured I find that, as I grow older, spring is to be embraced. The sensitive can feel it coming as nature fills the air with subtle hints of its arrival. Daylight increases. The warm breezes from the southwest begin to win their battle with the Alberta clippers. The sky seems different, and long sleeping animals begin to awake.
If a person can make it through January, then the worst is over. January will claim some, that time of the year always does. Still, if you make it through, the end, if not the snow, is in sight and spring’s inevitability begins to make itself known. Years of experience makes a person wise in this regard and those who are aware of the surety of spring, even in the howling winds of winter, can endure.
do not do, or at least try, do not believe.
to the old are, in fact, saving their future selves.