From John Milton…

ON TIME

by: John Milton (1608-1674)

Fly envious Time, till thou run out thy race,
Call on the lazy leaden-stepping hours,
Whose speed is but the heavy Plummets pace;
And glut thy self with what thy womb devours,
Which is no more then what is false and vain,
And meerly mortal dross;
So little is our loss,
So little is thy gain.
For when as each thing bad thou hast entomb’d,
And last of all, thy greedy self consum’d,
Then long Eternity shall greet our bliss
With an individual kiss;
And Joy shall overtake us as a flood,
When every thing that is sincerely good
And perfectly divine,
With Truth, and Peace, and Love shall ever shine
About the supreme Throne
Of him, t’whose happy-making sight alone,
When once our heav’nly-guided soul shall clime,
Then all this Earthy grosnes quit,
Attir’d with Stars, we shall for ever sit,
Triumphing over Death, and Chance, and thee O Time.

From Robert Frost…

A Prayer in Spring

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers to-day;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfil.

Psalm 146…

Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul!
While I live I will praise the LORD; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Do not put your trust in princes, nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help.
His spirit departs, he returns to his earth; In that very day his plans perish. Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea, and all that is in them;
Who keeps truth forever, Who executes justice for the oppressed,
Who gives food to the hungry.
The LORD gives freedom to the prisoners.
The LORD opens the eyes of the blind;
The LORD raises those who are bowed down;
The LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the strangers;
He relieves the fatherless and widow;
But the way of the wicked He turns upside down. The LORD shall reign forever—
Your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the LORD!

The air is cool tonight…

and children wander the streets in costume. The game is on TV but its just sound and noise. Everything that matters is far away and lost in time.

I’m back home, a child again in Wausau, running from house to house collecting candy. Laughter floats in the air and neighbors pretend they don’t know who we are. Tomorrow is school and stories of the collection, but tonight is about magic of a kind found only in an innocence lost and far away.

Too soon the world comes, a ghoul without a mask. Too soon cool nights become winter. Too soon we find ourselves far away from the child within. The world of deadlines and jobs and the knowledge of good and evil keeps pushing backward through time and we are caught up in it before we notice. The child, the hometown, the friends forever all gone.

It’s all I can do this Halloween night to stop from driving my car east and seeing if anyone is still home. A fool’s errand for sure because the world is the world and there are no magical nights left for anyone, even children. Yet for the sake for the sake of the dream. For the sake of the dream…

Psalm 121…

A Song of Ascents.

1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

3 He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

Psalm 63…

1O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

2To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.

3Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

4Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

5My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:

6When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.

7Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.

8My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

9But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.

10They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.

11But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

Some thoughts…

I’m tired, sad, perplexed, sometimes angry, and not a whole lot make sense right now. I wish things were different but they’re not. In other words I’m grieving.

Yet I’m not going to give up on Orthodoxy. I’m not going to stop serving where I can. Even if I’m not sure which people I can trust I know I can trust God. Though I’m not sure I like Church right now I know where its been and where, eventually, it is going and so I hope to stay close. Somewhere along the line the things which look so dark and hazy at the present will clear up and the best I can do right now is keep my face towards the Light and try to move towards morning.

I’ve been serving people in ministry for a quarter century and I can only think of a few times that I have felt as overwhelmed as these past days. Yet I know from all those years that God’s good cannot be denied and weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning. I’m learning again that princes of any kind are seldom worth my complete trust but God is and in my prayers, my silences, my perplexities, my angry moments and whatever is to come there will be a still small voice with the directions to help me find my way home.

Lord give me the faith to see wherever You are and the courage to follow.

A Word…

of thanks and gratitude to Bishop Mark on this last weekend of his official capacity as a Bishop in the Antiochian Archdiocese. I am grateful for your listening and your care. I appreciate the fact that you didn’t ignore the little or the distant churches in your diocese. I am glad that I never felt like I was a tool in your greater plan. I am impressed by your courage. Our loss will be the OCA’s gain and those of us who understand will not forget. Axios!