I often ponder…

God’s unfathomable love for such a beligerent species such as we are.

How can God, knowing full well what we have done, to His creation, to each other, to ourselves, and knowing not just what is seen but even the darkest recesses of what is inside of us, love?

Who would, who could, blame God from erasing existence as we know and starting again in the hopes of something, anything, better? Who could judge God for saying “This experiment has failed it is now time for another?”

Yet God has mercy, even on those who hate Him to His face, those who would destroy, those who would deliberately promote evil on the Earth, and me when I am at my worst.

Unimaginable, yet real. Beyond understanding, yet available to any truly seeking heart.

As I get Older…

I’ve come to even more appreciation for this Orthodox way.

It’s not because there aren’t struggles and personalities and challenges. There are, and there are moments when I cringe. Still there’s something deeper.

I see the fluidity of history. Times change. The world changes and often not for the better. In the turbulence I seek a place of calm, a place that at it’s core is unperturbed by the times whatever they may be. A place where I can come out of the world so when I return I return knowing there is more and better and a destination other than being a child of my own time and place.

Time is a current necessity but timelessness is where the necessity can be survived. Along the Orthodox way there are moments of timelessness and if I cannot be in them at least I know that they, and some semblance of hope, are there.

I suppose that may sound esoteric but I know there are more years behind than ahead. That’s just the way of things.  And in those years behind I’ve seen and experienced enough to realize that holy, timeless, moments, those glimpses of heaven breaking through into time, are among the greatest of gifts.

What is money? It’s what people think it is and you never get to keep it. What is notoriety? Everyone forgets in the end. It’s just a matter of time. Even health, preserved by long struggle, will eventually give way. Any moment spent in eternity, in the presence of God, in God’s world, is worth more than all of these. This beautiful path, this Faith, can be a narrow and difficult way but it’s destination is worth the struggle and the moments when that destination meets me while still on the path keep my feet light and my face towards the sun.