There are some blessings…

to being the age that I am.

Among the best it seems to me is that we were the last generation of kids in America to be allowed a childhood. Still often raised by mothers at home and a culture that felt the need to protect us from its darkness we could be kids in the best sense of the word. Scraped knees, no helmets, with the opportunity to create as much imagination as possible on a city block, we could have some time just learning how to be with people, like puppies tugging at each other on the kitchen floor.

I don’t think kids have nearly any of that in these days. From the time they’re born they seem to be corporatized, homogenized, sexualized, and beat into a shape considered to be appropriate to their masters in school, in marketing, and government. No one seems to want actual kids anymore, just clones on which to project their fantasies, accessories in the never ending life of acquisition. Not a stepford child? We have pills for that.

If I had a gift to give the children of this day it would be an afternoon with friends on the bank of the Wisconsin river, fishing with worms we picked after the rain stopped the night before. If we got bullheads they’d go home for mulch and bragging rights lasted until the next time we went fishing. Not a single x box or whatever they call it now in sight, no teachers wiggling a condom in our face, and no one being an adult before their time, just real kids trying to figure things out as the water moved south through town.

A Prayer…

O Lord Eternal and Creator of all things,
Who of Thy inscrutable goodness called me to this life;
Who bestowed on me the grace of Baptism
and the Seal of the Holy Spirit;
Who imbued me with the desire to seek Thee,
the one true God: hear my prayer.
I have no life, no light, no joy or wisdom;
no strength except in Thee, O God.
Because of my unrighteousness I dare not raise my eyes to Thee.
But Thou said to Thy disciples,
‘Whatsoever you shall ask in prayer believing, you shall receive.’
and ‘Whatsoever you shall ask in my name, that will I do.’
Wherefore I dare to invoke Thee.
Purify me from all taint of flesh and spirit.
Teach me to pray aright.
Bless this day which Thee give unto me, Thy unworthy servant.
By the power of Thy blessing enable me at all times to speak
and act to Thy glory with a pure spirit, with humility, patience,
love, gentleness, peace, courage and wisdom:
aware always of Thy presence.
Of Thy immense goodness, O Lord God, show me the path of Thy will,
and grant me to walk in Thy sight without sin.
O Lord, unto Whom all hearts be open,
Thee know what things I have need of.
Thee are acquainted with my blindness and my ignorance,
Thee know my infirmity and my soul’s corruption;
but neither are my pain and anguish hid from Thee.
Wherefore I beseech Thee, hear my prayer and by Thy Holy Spirit
teach me the way wherein I should walk;
and when my perverted will would lead me down other paths
spare me not O Lord, but force me back to Thee.
By the power of Thy love, grant me to hold fast to that which is good.
Preserve me from every word or deed that corrupts the soul;
from every impulse unpleasing in Thy sight and hurtful to my brother-man.
Teach me what I should say and how I should speak.
If it be Thy will that I make no answer,
inspire me to keep silent in a spirit of peace
that causes neither sorrow nor hurt to my fellow man.
Establish me in the path of Thy commandments
and to my last breath let me not stray from the light of Thy ordinances,
that Thy commandments may become the sole law
of my being on this earth and all eternity.
Yea, Lord, I pray to Thee, have pity on me.
Spare me in my affliction and my misery
and hide not the way of salvation from me.
In my foolishness, O God, I plead with Thee for many and great things.
Yet am I ever mindful of my wickedness, my baseness, my vileness.
Have mercy upon me.
Cast me not away from your presence because of my presumption.
Do Thee rather increase in me this presumption,
and grant unto me, the worst of men,
to love Thee as Thee have commanded, with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind, and with all my strength:with my whole being.
Yea, O Lord, by Thy Holy Spirit, teach me good judgment and knowledge.
Grant me to know Thy truth before I go down into the grave.
Maintain my life in this world until I may offer unto Thee worthy repentance.
Take me not away in the midst of my days, nor while my mind is still blind.
When Thee shall be pleased to bring my life to an end,
forewarn me that I may prepare my soul to come before Thee.
Be with me, O Lord, at that dread hour and grant me the joy of salvation.
Cleanse me from secret faults, from all iniquity that is hidden in me;
and give me a right answer before Thy judgment-seat.
Yea, Lord, of Thy great mercy and immeasurable love for mankind.

Wisdom from St. Athanasius…

What was God to do in the face of this de-humanising of mankind˜this universal hiding of the knowledge of Himself by the wiles of the evil spirits? Was He to keep silence before so great a wrong and let men go on being thus deceived and kept in ignorance of Himself? What, then, was God to do? What else could He possibly do, being God, but renew His Image in mankind, so that through it men might once more come to know Him? And how could this be done except by the coming of the very Image Himself, our Savior Jesus Christ?

St Athanasius of Alexandria
, On the Incarnation of the Word, 13

Christmas from St. John…

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. 6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe. 8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. 9 That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: 13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

In a season of wishes…

I have a wish as well. Its not for the usual things. I have enough and more of everything important. Instead I am wishing wild, wishing beyond wishes, beyond time, beyond space, beyond what is possible but not beyond my imagination. I wish my brother back.

Every Christmas day for as long as everyone who remembers lives I wish my brother to visit us. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, even a few moments will do. I wish to see him shining. I wish to see him radiant. No words need be spoken, simply let him come and step for one holy instant across the divide and we can share a glance. I wish this because in those precious seconds I would need no more of anything and every fear would vanish. Night would become day and the sun would never set even if time itself disappears.

I know, by faith, by faith. Yet still I can dream for the sight. Still I can dream for the sight.