for the Holy Synod of Antioch to meet next week and perhaps come to some kind of resolution on the questions and issues raised by thier decision to change our Diocesan Bishops to auxiliaries. Just wait and pray and hope.

The reports back from Bishop Mark and Bishop Basil are, of course, vague because private things were said and that confidence needs to be maintained. Yet the tone seemed positive and I hope that the concerns brought to the attention of our Patriarch will be addressed. If you can imagine a whole Archdiocese holding its breath you’ve probably sensed what we’re doing right now.

One of the larger questions is the one of fallout. Which ever way it goes someone will be unhappy and working on whatever step is next. My feeling is there may be some kind of compromise where all the parties involved are given some piece of the pie but that remains to be seen. I’d prefer, of course, to see the Bishops restored, but everything is out of my hands now. it’s a vulnerable place to be but also a place where everyone needs to simply rest in God. In the end that may be one of the lessons of all of this.

to another place on blogger. Find it here

in May and June and we’re over 5 inches below the average rainfall. Grass is going brown and lakes and ponds are shrinking from their banks. It’s the day before Pentecost and we need rain.

So it is with the world and myself as well. We both need water from heaven and the rain of the Spirit to come and touch our dryness. The winter was cold and long and spring has been stingy with her fruits. We, I, need rain to soften the ground, to give life to that which is in us, and to quench our thirst.

Let the clouds roll in, even if they are only the size of a man’s hand, and let the first drops fall. Whatever falls will be taken. Whatever comes will be absorbed. Each drop will have value.

It’s the day before Pentecost and we, I, need rain.

since February have been some of the hardest in my decade of being Orthodox.

The decision of the Holy Synod of Antioch to change the status of our Diocesan Bishops to auxiliaries has ignited a firestorm in our Archdiocese. Leaders are troubled. People are asking questions. Old wounds have been opened and new ones inflicted. Speculation abounds and people are still struggling to understand. Why was this necessary? What does this mean? What are the grounds for this decision? Many, including myself, hope for the best but answers, at the present, are few and far between.

There is a kind of fear among us as well. Some are afraid to speak because they imagine the consequences. News and rumors float about on competing websites. Angry words are being written and spoken. The future seems uncertain. The rationale behind this change, according to official sources, was the unity of the Archdiocese but the result has been exactly the opposite as people are divided and hurt and trying to make sense of it all. I can’t imagine what the diocesan and national conventions will be like if this is not resolved.

When I was first a Baptist Pastor I was given these words of advice, “God leads, the Devil stampedes” and I feel we’re being stampeded in many directions in the aftermath of this decision. Satan is creating havoc among us and God is allowing us to be challenged. Wheat and chaff are being separated and fire is in the process of burning out impurities. Yet while this happens people will be lost, people who will grow tired and disillusioned and give up and walk out the door and people who, looking at us from the outside and seeing this shameful mess, refuse to step in the door. Hard lessons are being learned.

This is wrong. This is sad. We need to be better.

So many, myself included, were hopeful that our new dioceses and self rule would be the seeds of a united American Orthodox Church, another step towards a correct canonical status and a shared Orthodox voice in this country. We hoped that disunity and chaos would someday end. We thought our leaders wanted this too but one day it was there and the next it was gone. Who can we trust? What set of events would require such a change? I feel confused, sad, and perplexed.

I love the Orthodox Faith so I could never walk away but I despair for all this has brought. Whether the Holy Synod’s decision on the status of our Bishops stands or is changed there will be a great silent undercurrent of fear, hostility, and lack of trust that will cripple us regardless of the proclamations and documents that follow. The things said and done in this time will hobble us and scandalize both the faithful and those who are searching for the Faith. We need trust to work together and that trust has been terribly strained.

I’m just a Priest from a small church on the western edge of Wisconsin, what I have to say doesn’t matter much. But I do pray for our Bishops, our Metropolitan, and our Patriarch and hope they see the sad results of what has happened and think deeply and spiritually about all of this. I especially pray for Bishop Mark who has endured so much before and after this and Lord knows what he may have to face in the future. All of our Bishops, agree or disagree, should be in our prayers. As we see what is happening we need to be prayerfully, respectfully, involved, seeking out the truth and acting on it as best sinful people can.

Yet in all my struggle with these things I have hope as well. I’ve seen men and women rise to the occasion and thoughtful people stand and be counted. That this is all worth fighting over says something about how we value it. If the weeks past are any indicator we may be in for a difficult journey but I have confidence in God. Somewhere in all of the shouting we will hear the still small voice.

And as part of this I’ve already expressed my opinion on this to my Dean and Bishop and they know that I believe that for practical, spiritual, and canonical reasons we need to retain our diocesan Bishops. Beyond the pastoral and canonical issues it just makes sense. I say this with no malice, no disrespect, and no anger towards anyone who may differ from me. Future events may reveal this opinion to be wise or I may have to be accountable for it. Regardless I will stand here and trust that God will care for me and the Church as needed.

That is where my hope is. I would like amicable resolution, the reattachment of sundered bonds, a Christian way to work through disagreements, and a drawing from the deep well of our Tradition for wisdom in troubled times. Our world needs the truth of Orthodoxy. But if those fail I still believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to take even these hard days and make something holy of them. Somewhere on the other side of this all is where we need to be and God will help us find our way home.

For that I wait, and pray, and hope.

about the ascension. What was it? How did it happen? Let me explain.

The Scriptures tell us that Jesus’ body lifted off from the ground and at some height disappeared into a cloud and left his follower’s sight. As an act of God by faith I can understand the “why” of it. Jesus was returning from where He came. But the how of it has intrigued me for years.

If it were a direct ascension, Jesus simply lifting off the ground and being elevated in a straight line, our Lord would still be traveling through space even if He were moving at the speed of light. But Jesus Himself told His followers He was going somewhere, a place where He would later have His followers join Him. By the natural laws as we understand them He, unless this place was on some distant planet, would not have yet arrived.

My own thoughts, and I am definitely not a physicist, are that what may have happened is some kind of dimensional shift. Perhaps there are more layers of reality then we know. Perhaps what we understand as “heaven” is not as far away from us as we think. We understand that angels walk among us unseen could they be on a plane of existence that is very real but for the most part just out of our sight? Could Jesus have briefly ascended and then, by the power of God, returned to the dimension from which He had been from eternity, His disappearing out of sight being the mark of that shift?

I don’t know and I am certainly speculating, guessing even. Yet the mechanics of the ascension have intrigued me and if you’re browsing through and have an idea I would like to know what you think as well.

been dealing with this cold that’s been floating around. Sinus, deep cough, loss of voice, seems to hang on forever? If that sounds like you what have you been doing to deal with it?

pray for all the Bishops of the Antiochian Archdiocese. They begin their travels today and will arrive in Damascus shortly for conferences with our Patriarch regarding the decision to change their status from diocesan to auxiliary Bishops. Metropolitan Philip will not be with them but please pray for him as well.

you wake up is often the most fertile for dreams and this morning’s dream was interesting.

I was back in Lindsborg, Kansas, and the normally small town in the center of the state was larger, changed, with hills and many shops. I sensed my family was with me, including my father who has been asleep in the Lord for over 15 years. My quest was to get to First Baptist Church where I had served and get inside.

Like many dreams the task was frustrating. I knew where the building was but kept weaving in and out of streets and shops. Lindsborg is a tourist town that celebrates its Swedish heritage and so I was traveling through one gift shop to another trying to find my way. Normally I would have awoken from sleep somewhere short of the goal but this time I made it.

The church itself had changed, there were additions to the building and as I walked up the stairs I noticed the name had been changed to Grace Church and the change must have been recent because the new sign was on the top of the stairs and next to it were icons in that sort of Greek / Catholic style so prominent years ago.

I made it inside and found that everything had changed but there were two older ladies left from the church that I knew. I asked them about what had changed but they made no reply. And while I was speaking with them and watching the service I woke up.

Now I know what some of it means. I had a hard time at First Baptist Lindsborg and I’ve had dreams about getting to the church and getting inside. That was about trying to make peace with what happened there. But the presence of my father, has he been praying for me in these past years that I would find healing and rest from those days? I think I know what the name is all about and the icons. I already had an icon of St. John the Forerunner with me in Kansas and it calls to mind the journey God had planned for me because it was in those days that I began to search in earnest for the Church.

There’s more to contemplate, of course, but I wonder why this and why now? Perhaps, after all these years, I am being released.